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shared experiences of struggles and triumphs
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About Me
- Derek Crain, LICSW
- I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker providing individual and group supervision to those seeking licensure. Please join in the discussion and share your clinical insight.
Why do we put others before ourselves, even when it results in neglecting our own wellbeing? Is it because we do not think we are worthy of the time and effort it takes to care for ourselves?
ReplyDeleteBefore taking off in an airplane, the flight attendant instructs passengers to "put your own oxygen mask on before helping others" (in case of an emergency). When it comes to me everyday life, I find myself brushing aside these easy instructions. I am so focused on insuring my friends and famiy are ok, that I ignore my own needs. Why do I do this? I don't know.
It's important that we look for ways to nuture ourselves. For me, figuring out how to accomplish this is more than half the battle.
for me self worth has always been my greatest struggle. In every aspect of my life. I have always felt unworthy of all the good things in life, such as love, happiness, and success. I see people with kids and families and my mind says your not pretty enough to have those things and sometimes i find myself hating those people for what they have. I try to like who i am but i cant get past my reflection and how i see myself. Im trying but its very hard!
ReplyDeleteKrissie, thank you for leading this discussion and giving such a thoughtful example of your feelings.
ReplyDeleteJenny, thank you for taking a huge risk and expressing your feelings. There I times in my life that I have felt exactly like this and I am sure that others amongst are peers have felt this way too.
Team when we start taking ownership of our feelings that's when we begin to allow ourselves to move forward. Taking ownership of your feelings is very powerful because unchecked feelings have a way of sabotaging our motivation and energy levels to make healthy decisions.
Our culture is so shaming about expression of feelings. It's often perceived as a sign of weakness. Jenny, the way you expressed yourself is very powerful and I see it as tremendous strength that will allow others to move towards responisbility of their feelings
Today, the stress at work sent me in a downward spiral of McDonalds, ice cream and a Cinnabon. Seriously. Am I teasing myself? Do I really "deserve" this CRAP food? Am I "worthy" of adding the fat & sugar into my body because I had a hard day at work and an emotionally devasting week?
ReplyDeleteIts times like this that it is so enticing to eat whatever you want. Its always the worst when I'm stressed out or feeling down. I have to remind myself that I deserve to live healthy and am worthy of loving myself/my body more than the temporary satisfaction of junk food. I have to tell myself that because deep down I'd like to think that I really believe that. If that is so, then why is it so hard for me to make better choices?
This is a very difficult subject for me to address. I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember. My low self worth has always been about my looks. I had difficulty in elementary school because I am Jewish and it was a time when we were ostracized. I had gone to school from 1st grade to 8th grade with the same group of children. When we went into 8th grade I was called " dirty Jew" among other things. Only my best friend continued being friends with me. Neither of us was invited to any graduation parties. Thinking back this was probably the beginning of my low self-esteem. I lost every friend I had for 8 years. My parents had to sell our house and move because of the situation. It was devastating to me.
ReplyDeleteIn my 20's I married a man who was physically abusive. He constantly told me that if I were beautiful he wouldn't hit me. I left him 27 years ago but can still hear his words.
I still struggle with my self image. I have been thin and fit many times but don't ever feel beautiful.
I once admitted to a friend I had always wished I was beautiful.
Katie, I can truly appreciate your struggle. Team, We are grasping it. A couple of months now in this group and we are getting to the heart of our true concern, "how we value ourselves"
ReplyDeleteKatie, I truly appreciate your humility with regard to your struggles this week because it's showing everyone else that it is okay to fail and still succeed. And really how can we succeed until we critically examine our behavior patterns and though process around stress which is ultimately related to self worth.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteYour timing has been very excellent! You uncovered some deep individual layers related to your self worth. I think this is going to be so freeing for you and others because again it is permission giving in a supportive environment.
Your vulnerability that you shared with the team is a huge huge risk and is indicative of a high motivation for change.
Team, I truly think that if people are going to manage their weight problems and break bad habits that these issues of isolation, low-self esteem, peer neglect, labeling, physical/emotional abuse are going to become common place in our dialogue.
Certainly, Each of us have our own demons that we face, but I know there will be some commonalities that we all share
Beautiful Work